Secrets To Making & Keeping Closer Friendships
I have questions why social media is only growing in popularity since it was created. I’m convinced it’s because we all way more connections. We all want those amazingly kind, adventurous, can make a good-time-out-of-nothing people in our lives, or at least that’s what I want. For the most part that is what I have found & here is how.
Finding friends : What are they doing? Are you going to enjoy what they are doing? Hang out in places you are going to have things in common with. I really like building creative projects like a shelf or painting a project but I realize I’m likely not going to find my girl gang an the neighborhood Lowe’s. So maybe instead I talk to a few girls after a jewelry making class or ask the person that with a great taste in music that sits near me every Tuesday before class or at work to grab a coffee. What kind of friendship are you craving, community with other moms or other people going back to school that really get how exhausting it is to put your time into all these buckets.
Building friendships: What are your expectations of them & what do they expect of you? What do want support to look like? I think it’s important to ask this & to start, you ask them how them what their expectations & how they like to be supported. Then you have an open door for what this looks like for you. I might say I want to be able to help you through this what do you need out of me right now? Then add that maybe im not in need of any options right now, I get way down by other people’s thoughts & feeling. I just need you to sympathize or affirm what I’ve said when I’m struggling with a personal decision.
Keeping friends: focusing on being a better friend not finding more friends. Here is where ya got to put in the work. What are you brung to the friendship that they don’t already have? Sometimes it’s person that has gone through a similar experience and is undemanding of my situation. Go the extra to give a spontaneous phone call, or offer to go to them- go to them grocery store, go to work with them. I would feel so loved by this but this isn’t for a huge list of the people it likely for a core group of individuals. It takes time & the right people will reciprocate.
Bounds: Friends can come & go in seasons of your life too. Don’t spread yourself too thin accommodating everyone or even just that one “friend” sometimes keeping one friend is too big of sacrifice to yourself let em go. I’ll take one friend who has my best interest over any trouble causing person any day.