• Monica Jackson

The Gift of a Gap

Updated: Jul 29, 2020

It’s been a minute since I’ve written on here, I attribute that to finding my feet in this adjusted ‘normal’. I’m not sure if this time is post graduation & 1st wave of COVID-19 or present race relations era. But a lot has changed in my world.

I graduated from undergrad in May, with plans to serve in the Peace Corps starting September 2020. I decided continued classes for my masters through the summer. I then found out The Peace Corps had to postpone Indonesia until at least September 2021. They left the option not to serve if it wasn’t in cards anymore with it being a year away on top of the 27 month commitment to serve.

I know that time is the most unreliable resource we have. But plenary of good things take more time then we originally anticipate so when do we allow time for that. It is still a huge desire of mine so I’m going to cross my fingers for next September!

What do I do to better myself for a year? Lets start with a place to live...by the time I had a plan figure out I had less then a month to find a place to live before my lease was up on my college house. I knew myself well enough to know I would not thrive living alone. But saw it as my only option.

Two weeks into the search a sweet friend of mine suddenly was looking for a place. It worked out that we found a place & signed a lease within 2 days. I’ve only lived there a few weeks, but it flipped from a situation I would have been a little miserable in, to living in a place I love with my friend Dulce.

What do I have to prove? We get to pick who we disappoint, I have to have realistic expectations of myself & my capacities.

I remind myself if this doesn’t make me feel loved/fulfilled then it stands in the way.

I plan to finish classes of my masters & walk at graduation in December for both degrees. Also, an opportunity to work at Bellarmine’s Career Development Center in a year long position came up. To tell you the truth I almost didn’t take it because I thought I was being complacent (I had worked there for 4 years in undergrad) but when I got truthful with myself I admitted I love working there, the people, the culture, the work. I love it all.

I don’t know of a different place I could work for a year that would be or do as much meaningful work as Career Development. That is when saying yes is good.

What am I saying NO to? Filling up my calendar & drinking from a fire hose. Half a$$ing things & putting minimal time/energy in. This year of a gap is a gift. I want to spend it deepening friendship & exploring who I am & want to be. I want to make the time, I want to come through for the friend. Put the time in to the things I love.

I am so proud of you for the things you have made happen! You are enough & I am so proud of you.

P.S. If you’re a reader of MonsMantras & near the Louisville area in December you are definitely invited to my graduation!

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