• Monica Jackson

The Rhythm, Expectations & Being of Mon's Summer

Updated: Sep 1, 2019

I’ve gotten many questions about my summer, I’m hesitant to talk about it because it had twice as many downs as ups. This seems to catch people off guard when i say I was challenged by so much of it. I want to be real but it is taking some courage. There were many more struggles then pictures posted. So many of the experience & lessons I had are permanently impressed in me but it’s hard to accurately value them, perhaps this will be a clerical & transparent reflection for you & me both.

Rhythm of work-The first 4 weeks were great! I made two great friends Nicole & Lydia that just rocked my world. I had overcome the majority of the learning curve in my internship. I even squeezed in a vacation with my girlfriend from in Maryland. There I got the news that my grandpa has passed away unexpectedly. there I AMTRACKEed back to the city then few to KY for a week with my family. When I come back to NYC I was ready to compliment the last few weeks of my internship & excited for my mom to visit before we drove back home together. Instead, I found out my uncle in Chicago had passed. It was like every time I got thrown off the horse. NOTHING about the last month was according to schedule. I tried (& am still trying) to adjust to the new rhythm knowing not to make things harder then they have to be.

Expectations- After I mentioned working at the UN in the blog "Dancing In The Rain" a friend kindly connected me with someone who works at the headquarters (in NYC). This woman shared the real version of what her of life was like, she was frank asking if I think creatively about social change in the world? She said this isn’t the job for the dreamers- many of my days are documenting & reporting on meeting, & my social/family life is virtually nonexistent. I tried to re-conceptualize this idea in my head. I have never expect the work to be impact-full every moment but there were several red flags made me realize I want a new dream. Prior to the conversation I didn’t think I would enjoy a job at this nonprofit in NY because of it's lean structure & heavy work load. But I recognize that is exactly what I want because the dream of sustainable social change by working in & with communities becomes alive

Saying & Being - I made a personal goal of having my Peace Corps application in by August 1, even though it isn’t due till the end of October. Why I set myself like this, these deadlines or standards that aren’t realistic! It’s like putting all the pressure on Monday when there are 6 other perfectly good days to get. What happens we all hate Monday! What did I do, I punished myself because I set this time frame that had nothing to do with what was happening in my life. Why was I being so mean to myself (still don’t know)?!?!

I’m going to end it here & we will get to talk soon!

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