• Monica Jackson

When is life going to go up?

After a long season of blues I have on the ups, really been enjoying life. I’ve been spending more time with people that make me happy like the kind that make you smile in the alone in the car by yourself, stupid happy feeling. Its not them that got me feeling this way, although they defiantly don’t hurt. What pulled my out of this funk:

10% better then last time- Okay so maybe you didn’t totally get there but think about where you came from- freshman Mon would have killed for any GPA above even a 3.0, I you did way better AND had a lot on my plate that was hard/unfamiliar. I mean look at how much happier I am now then I was at the beginning of the semester, there are definitely still struggles, but now I can now redirect my actions to be self-sufficient in improving my level of now of happiness even by 10 % & that is huge!!! Sometimes I need to zoom out on the whole picture to identify the 10 % improvement, like I made a 3.6 because I started grad school classes & worked 25 hours a week, that’s a balancing act that is not holistically reflected anywhere.

Trust & rest. When I got home today, one of my roommates was there- it was a nice surprise so I sat down to talk for 20 minutes. By the time I made it to the gym it was 15 minutes till (an early) close so I just tuned around & left. I took it as the universe telling me to do yoga to put down the thoughts that have been fumbling over & enjoy the unexpected company. I can tell ya the combo of conversation & the YouTube yoga, were more rejuvenating then the 3 miles & core work I would have done at the gym. It’s hard for me to skip the gym but I know I won’t lose anything over a day or two of rest, my body was craving to not muscle through another workout. And although I love deep conversations it’s nice to have small talk sometimes, to take a second to chat.

There is value in trying- Ya need to remember that Mon! Whether it attempting to ski/bowl/rollerblade (for the 46567 time) or trying to organize a family game night, a good time can be had regardless of if you aren’t a pro or to play only hands down every game. In a not so straight forward example, there is a friend that I like but I’m stuck somewhere between the significant other &…fiend zone. But I said I would be always wondering if I didn’t try, when I get frustrated at the station or worried about staying friend with him I just think that I would be mad at myself if I like him this much and didn’t do anything about it. Even if it doesn’t work out I am proud of myself for trying.

I just want to say you aren’t invisible, if you aren’t there yet- if you aren’t in a good place, its coming your way. I promise!

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