When You Dream Big (P.s. I got the Job!)
Updated: Aug 13
II was dog-sitting for a professor last week, in her home office, she had a note that read “if it’s uncomfortable you are on the cusp of change” which fits what I have been feeling since March-when I started a job Search beyond l Louisville. I love this city, it is kind and caring and houses some of the most incredible people I know. But I was advised by a much wiser professional that you only get to live an adventure for so long, do it while you can. While me a year ago was eager to pack 2 suitcases in a backpack to move myself to Indonesia to serve and be immersed. Me this year feels like I lost some of the resiliency with that experience falling through.
I know my younger self had a massive dream of creating systemic change, I don’t want to let her down. So I pushed past the feelings of heaviness abs resistance to change to have the kind of life that I actually wanted to be living. With that, I have developed more empathy and experienced emotions more deeply since last year. I want to share some of the stories that made me this way. I’m on a mission to share the in-between phase of success.
Never did I think I would be so fortunate to get all the interviews I did. I think I interviewed with 7 different schools all over the county. The perimeter of the search was roles in Career Development/Higher Education and applied to 40 places. It was hard to compare what a life in Maui looked like compared to Winston Salem or Atlanta, let alone the difference between the actual job and school. Yes, the experience that I had helped qualify me on paper for this but the networking made up for the degree in a different field and being such a young person in this field. I think if you have the community you are supposed to, you can make up with talking the talk and walking the walk to fill the gaps you are missing both personally and professionally. It was the idea of “Can you swim with other swimmers?” It’s an inspiring and educational springboard I put myself in to get to this spot. Another comment made was to take the time to carefully articulate not only my passion but why the work is filling for me. I think if it’s the right job you can have intention without hustle (boy oh boy does the job feel good when that happens). The job I had to transition is something that provides a lot of good to people who are facing evection but I am not excited about everyday work. That’s how I know I want to work in Career Service, I get excited about the impact of the most mundane work. I don’t want to romanticize the feelings I've had around this job search, there is so much hard work and processing feelings put in when no one is watching. The mantras that helped me:
-What is for me is not going to miss me!
-I’m humble enough to know I’m not better than anybody but I’m confident enough to know what I deserve.
-Ambiguity can be scary in the next season of your life has a lot of unknown.
When we don’t tend to our emotions they metastasize and their ego has no interest in full heartedness or being curious about healing because that’s risky, hard, and vulnerable. So ya gotta double-time it to heal. I’ve learned to do a lot of self-soothing work, say what I mean and want and definitely what I’m feeling! It has felt so good to not keep it inside of me and I find many people relate. I think we gradually become a better people through the sunshine and rain, pain and passion.
So officially I’m moving to Atlanta to work at a university in Career Services!