You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
Updated: Dec 5, 2019
Over the past couple of months if you asked if i was okay, I would answer honestly, no. It’s taken some work to even say that but I believe it’s okay not to be okay. Something just weigh on you and thats hard to sit with. It can change depending on the season of life too. I have been waiting to hear if I got into the Peace Corps since September. Any other time in my life I have known what the next steps are 4 years ahead of me. Now I have no idea, nor do I have any control of the decision. The anticipation has taken more a energy & emotion then I initially allowed for. Yet I have to make mental space for that because it is something that is sitting heavy with me. I do have a back up plan, but Im still very concerned as to what will happen either way. There are many relationships that would have to be on put hold, a lot of new & unknown things to adjust to. That all is frighting & uncomfortable so it is okay not to be okay.
What you are doing is hard, it’s okay to admit that. There is a reason not everyone wants to write a blog that is vulnerable & exposing. It’s a slippery slope of giving and sharing. But my reasons for writing are two fold, I want to recognize I can/have done hard things & life is too short not to try. That’s not what I thought when I started this blog i was like “ohh maybe if a few years you will be good at writing & not spell so much wrong.” But here I here I am. Perhaps this is because I have to fill my cup up somehow, I allow myself space to write when i need to collect my thoughts. I have to be honest with myself saying it won’t be easy but seeing progress & shifts in mindset is validating.
Understanding that experiences and time change you, things that once felt good might not now. It doesn’t matter the reason really but it’s important to recognize how people & experience make you feel. I’m really great at saying yes to EVERYTHING, two years ago I loved being booked to the max . Now it just takes it out of me & I make myself small by not allowing time for me, putting other people on the lite before me. If I get around to me or have enough time I’ll evaluate my needs. But that actually turns me inside out to the point that I can’t help others. Instead of being in this brittle state every week I could put more energy into the people that pour into me or the activistas that make me happy.
You are going through your own experience & doing a beautiful job at sorting through some hard stuff, be nice to yourself! Find ways to fill your cup, helping yourself helps other.